


see you again (wonder if you look both ways when you cross my mind.)

by haetnimie



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: AU, Flowers, M/M, Romance, lapslock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:22:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23390908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haetnimie/pseuds/haetnimie
Summary: wonwoo sells flowers, mingyu helps him, and jihoon reunites with an old friend that makes his feelings go haywire. spring is an interesting season.
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi & Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Comments: 9
Kudos: 108





	see you again (wonder if you look both ways when you cross my mind.)

wonwoo’s floral business is one of their small hometown’s talking points, making an appearance throughout the entirety of spring before disappearing for the rest of the year. it’s a small refurbished food truck turned flower truck, adorned with just about anything a florist would need. wonwoo grows a rather extensive garden in his parents’ backyard; everyday he tends to it before he drives to a random part of town and announces his location via twitter. there’s almost always a crowd that follows. in the business’s three years of service, mingyu’s been the only other person to help wonwoo out.

but this year, wonwoo’s added another person to his staff.

jihoon’s been working at wonwoo’s business for about a week now, only because mingyu would not. stop. bothering. him. about. it. “things are getting hectic,” mingyu said, “and we could really use some help.” (this is usually followed by extensive tugging of jihoon’s arm.)

he doesn’t deal with the actual flower stuff; he’s the cashier. when wonwoo bunkers down for the day, jihoon carries a table outside, sets up the register — which is just a tablet, thanks technology — and processes the transactions. it’s an easy, alright job. he just hates how wonwoo makes him wear an apron as a uniform, since it awkwardly ends at the middle of his knees.

their families are next-door neighbors, so it’s only natural that wonwoo, jihoon, and mingyu would be close. when wonwoo decided on starting his business right after high school, they both supported him as much as they could. they knew he could pull it off.

jihoon had painted the flowers against the truck’s white exterior, actually; he couldn’t say no to one of wonwoo’s rare requests. that was one of his bigger projects. wonwoo had given him pictures of his favorite flowers, and jihoon got to work. from sketches to the final product, it took about a week. he had a fun time painting all those petals, tracing all the leaves, mixing colors together into the perfect hue, going over every detail until it was just right. his dad would yell at him for being on top of the truck at 3 in the morning just doing his thing. it was the most fun he’d have painting for a while.

anyway.

today seems to be like every other day. there’s a line that stretches along the street where they’re at. they’re parked at a rather busy place downtown, though their flower truck draws attention as always. things are going as per usual, a sign that _something’s_ bound to happen, when —

“long time no see!”

the all-too familiar voice makes jihoon’s head perk up, and from the crowd a blonde head stands out. it pushes its way through, making it to the front, and the person in front of him almost makes jihoon light-headed.

“oh, uh. jihoon.” soonyoung lets out a smile, a little awkward from the looks of it. he hadn’t seen that in _years_. it’s mesmerizing. “…hi. hi! i didn’t think you’d be here.”

“…what are _you_ doing here?”

people have started to realize who was standing there. they were no longer a crowding around the flowers; they were crowding around _him_ , soonyoung, the town’s other talking point. he’s one of the nation’s most popular idols.

* * *

“finally…it’s over.” mingyu slumps down on the floor, wiping his sweat after a long day of work. the frenzy after soonyoung’s appearance lasted for about an hour before business went on as usual, which had slowed to a lull as the sun painted the sky with pinks and oranges. soonyoung had found himself helping throw out the trash and small things like that for a couple of hours, something he did with the utmost of glee.

jihoon couldn’t stop thinking about him. wonwoo and mingyu are _childhood_ friends; kwon soonyoung is his _best friend_. he’s the one he loved having by his side no matter what. he’d come back from _out of the blue_. he’s here. he’s present. he’s around jihoon. and it makes his heart pound.

“i’m glad i finally get to see what you’ve been up to, wonwoo,” soonyoung says, nodding his head at the truck. he takes a moment to pause and admire it, a genuine glimmer in his eyes at his friend’s work. “and it’s pretty, too. the flowers look like jihoon’s work.”

“because they are,” wonwoo replies.

“that’s what i thought!” soonyoung’s gaze whips over to jihoon, and he feels small, embarrassed all of a sudden. he braces himself for what’s coming. “talented as always, but you don’t need me to tell you that. so, what’ve you been up to? what’ve you been painting? it feels like we haven’t talked in ages!”

“um.” jihoon can’t respond. he can’t bring himself to respond to soonyoung texts or calls — what makes him think he can respond now? wonwoo’s eyebrow raises at soonyoung’s statement; he can understand the confusion. he can also put two and two together that this means that jihoon’s been actively ignoring his best friend.

“what brings you back home, soonyoung?” thank god mingyu’s curiosity breaks jihoon’s interrogation.

“my company’s letting me take a quick break until the end of may.” soonyoung says these words so naturally, each syllable rolling off his tongue with ease. it amazes him. “i just finished my tour, and my parents are actually moving to a new house — still in town, of course, just a few blocks away from their old one. anyway, i came to help them and to just chill for a bit, and to catch up with you guys!”

“sounds nice.” wonwoo nods. “if you and your parents need help, my brother and i can help you out.”

“me too!” mingyu adds.

for some reason, soonyoung’s eyes had not left jihoon despite him saying one word this entire time. he doesn’t understand why. he doesn’t really like the attention it gives him; every move feels like it has to be calculated precisely, and he can’t do that when he’s so distracted with the fact that soonyoung just…exists.

“well, we should close up.” mingyu’s the only one tall enough to dismantle the awning that covers up the truck’s windows, and he gets up to do just that on the other side. wonwoo doesn’t say a word; he shuffles into the truck to do whatever he needs to do.

and just like that, it’s just him and soonyoung. his friend scowls. “you’re not acting like yourself.”

“i’m processing this.” it’s not a lie, but it’s not the entire truth, either.

“can you…process any faster?”

“what? why?”

“what do you mean why?”

“because…” he can’t tell if it’s the lighting from the sunset or if soonyoung’s face actually got really, really, really red. “i was looking forward to seeing you the most. i don’t want to waste a second with you.”

“…ah.” he wasn’t expecting that. his heart feels like it’s about to explode and barge through his ribcage; there’s a familiar but unknown pang in his chest.

he gets that, to be honest. he wouldn’t mind hanging out. in fact, despite his extreme social constipation, he _misses_ soonyoung. deep down, he thinks — no, he _does_ like soonyoung’s company. but it feels like he’s ignored him for so long to be allowed the privilege to be allowed to just… _hang out_ again. jihoon’s messed up big time, so why does soonyoung think otherwise?

soonyoung confuses him so much.

“oh.” a ringtone breaks their third silence of the day. soonyoung opens his phone, staring at it for a while before putting it away. “my family wants me back right away. are you working tomorrow?”

“it’s saturday.”

“so no?”

“no.”

“great. then i’m coming over to your house tomorrow. see you later, jihoon!”

before he can say anything, soonyoung makes his way back home.

_…shit._

* * *

jihoon’s parents absolutely adore soonyoung. they give him a hug the moment they open the door, pulling on his cheeks and asking how he’s been. he gives them a jar of his family’s kimchi. they revel in the deep reds before telling soonyoung that jihoon’s in his room.

‘jihoon’s room’ usually means something else.

soonyoung doesn’t knock; instead, he steps over the clothes on the floor, the rolled up posters, the piles of old art pieces and to the window. there’s an odd amount of unopened paint and unused paint in the corner, but the open window gets soonyoung’s attention quickly. the curtains sway as soft wind flows into the room, although jihoon is not there. he sticks his head out the window.

“jihoon!”

“oh my god — fuck, i could’ve _fallen off_!”

“same place as always, i see.” soonyoung crawls out the window and onto the lee’s roof where jihoon’s sitting in his usual spot. his bedhead struggles to stay in place as the spring breeze continues to sweep through. “the weather’s nice today. i don’t mind being up here.”

“you don’t _have_ to come up here,” jihoon says with a roll of his eyes. he’s told soonyoung this too many times, but he insists every single time.

…it’s so natural to talk to him.

“i need the full lee jihoon experience,” soonyoung says with jazz hands for emphasis, although he drops it immediately. “so.”

“…so.”

“what’d i do wrong?”

“huh?” that comes out of jihoon’s mouth before he could even think about it.

“i mean, ignoring me and all that…i must have done _something_.” the pout on soonyoung’s face unsettles him; it rips jihoon’s heart into pieces. it hurts to look at. a sad expression doesn’t suit him. 

“…no, no, you didn’t do anything.” jihoon shakes his head, part of it in hopes that his face won’t linger in his memory. “don’t say that.”

“then…why aren’t we friends anymore?” it’s an honest question. he can’t blame him for asking that.

“i never said…” jihoon’s eyes drop to the roof tiles. “i never said we _weren’t_ friends.”

and then silence once again. jihoon’s head races, examining every possible route to take with this conversation. what’s the one with the least amount of damage? he could tell the truth, but he doesn’t even know what that _is_ for him. he could just say nothing and maybe he’ll go away, but it won’t get any better, and _god_ , deep down does he want it to get better. he could lie…but that _will_ blow up in his face. there’s no denying it.

“…okay. you need some time, huh?” jihoon looks up, and soonyoung’s smiling once more. it eases and pains his heart a little bit. “don’t look so surprised — i know you. there’s something else going on, but you need to figure it out.”

“yeah, you could say that.”

“here’s a deal.” soonyoung loops his arm around jihoon’s shoulders and pulls him close. there’s a few seconds of whiplash where jihoon’s head rattles with the exact two brain cells that he has before he realizes that they’re _close_. soonyoung doesn’t let him dwell on it for too long, though. “you take all the time in the world to think about it, but you can’t ignore me anymore. i miss my best friend! i want to do stuff with you while i’m here!”

“you’re really…trusting me a lot here,” jihoon says. (he thought it’d just be his inner monologue, but no, he definitely said that out loud.)

“of course i trust you. why wouldn’t i?” soonyoung looks at him, and he can’t tell if it’s the sun, his natural glow, or whatever, but…he looks warm. he looks inviting. he’s so genuine that jihoon can’t take it.

“okay, deal. but i _do_ work, you know.”

* * *

it’s a relatively okay day at wonwoo’s flower truck. the location is a little hard to seek out today — it’s parked at an abandoned lighthouse just at the edge of town. there’s people around, but the trek to this spot winds so much it takes about an hour and a half to get there from downtown.

soonyoung decided to tag along. he’s mostly been observing (“i don’t want to get in the way!”), nodding at wonwoo’s explanation of their layout to getting a little scared when mingyu nags at him for not properly putting back one of the supplies. jihoon leans back on his chair with his arms folded, eyes threatening to close with such droopy eyelids.

he has so much time to himself, but he finds it hard to sleep, especially in the past few days. soonyoung occupies his every thought for some reason. he tosses…he turns…he…

“…excuse me. excuse me, sir!”

jihoon snaps up, looking around and up at the lady in front of his table. she looks _mad_. his grip on the tablet tightens, and he half-feigns obliviousness as he realizes that he had indeed dozed off.

“who do you think you are, falling asleep while working?” the lady says with a scowl.

“i’m sorry about that.” he is, really. it’s irresponsible of him.

“yeah, well, why don’t you better yourself for next time? i’ve been waiting for ten minutes, you know!”

he wants to tell tell her that isn’t true — from the time on the tablet that he’s been staring at, he’d been asleep for five minutes _max_. she wasn’t there before, but probably in line. unfortunately, this part of his job description is _customer_ service. “sorry.”

the lady isn’t satisfied with such a straightforward answer. “well…i want a discount.”

“huh?”

“for making me wait, obviously.”

ok, this is getting ridiculous. “there aren’t really discounts here. again, i’m sorry, but — ”

“well then _make one_.”

jihoon sits there with his mouth open. _who does she think she is, i can’t just make a discount —_

“what seems to be the problem?” soonyoung pokes his head from the side, casually strolling up to jihoon’s desk. he gives the lady a smile, and a moment of realization flashes through her eyes when soonyoung waits for her to respond. “nothing?”

“i…” the lady’s obviously flustered, fumbling with the bunch of flowers in her hand. “none at all.”

“okay. then there’s no reason to yell at my friend then, right?” the sudden pat on the shoulder from soonyoung jerks jihoon awake _again_ — god, it would’ve been dangerous if he fell asleep once more.

the lady falls silent, blinking at soonyoung for a few seconds before she hands her card to jihoon. there are no words exchanged as he swipes the card, waits for it to process, and hands it back. she takes a couple more moments to look at soonyoung before she whips her head around and walks away as quickly as she can.

“…thank you,” jihoon says after a long-winded sigh. “i’m still getting used to them.”

“no problem.” soonyoung’s hand lingers on jihoon’s shoulder for a little longer than it should. for some reason, jihoon’s disappointed when it finally slips off.

“that was…kinda cool, to be honest.”

“seriously?” soonyoung’s eyes light up. “ _cool_? wow, that’s such a big compliment coming from you!”

jihoon’s face becomes uncomfortably hot. he presses his hands to his cheeks, willing them to cool down. is it just him or is it getting warm? somehow, he manages to scowl and maintain his straight composure. “don’t let that get to your head.”

* * *

jihoon decides to help soonyoung’s parents out with moving, mostly because his parents told him to do it as a gesture of gratitude for the kimchi they gave. he would’ve done it no matter what, but that’s the excuse he gives when he shows up to their new house at nine in the morning.

the new house is bigger than their old one. he used to hang out at soonyoung’s old house all the time; he’s got a lot of good memories there, but it does seem like soonyoung’s parents like this one. he’s happy for them, really. he’ll just miss the other one.

he’s been tasked with bringing some boxes down the hallway near the living room. it’s pretty easy carrying it — he’s been working out the past year or so. he plops it down right where it needs to be, wiping away a small amount of sweat on his forehead. not so bad.

the box wasn’t taped down, but rather, its flaps were folded haphazardly. in jihoon’s endless shuffling the flaps had come undone, allowing for an insight of the contents of the box. he feels like he shouldn’t, but…he takes a look.

it’s a picture of soonyoung.

from the looks of it, it seems like…a fansite picture. right. soonyoung’s an _idol_. there are people that take pictures of him, and with such great detail, too. each sequin on his jacket is visible; he can tell that the makeup on his face is clinging on to dear life with all that sweat; the picture is that of him looking out into the crowd with stars in his eyes, with a look of childlike wonder.

jihoon found himself taking out his phone and snapping a picture. why he did, he doesn’t know. he just felt compelled to.

“what’re you up to?”

jihoon almost drops his phone into the box out of his shock. the voice is from none other than _soonyoung_ — just his luck. he stands at the doorway of one of the rooms, leaning against the door frame.

“…you know, moving boxes.”

“mhm.” soonyoung nods before he perks up, whipping around and grabbing something. “anyway, look at this!”

he holds up an old, old canvas — one of jihoon’s old paintings. it’s that of the peach tree in soonyoung’s backyard back at their old house. their old meeting spot. he can remember the smell of all that fruit, the shade it’d offer during the summer, the times when they’d climb up as high as they can to see what squirrels and birds see. it’s pretty special.

“i…i think i painted that in middle school,” jihoon says. “god, it’s a mess.”

“i like it!” soonyoung replies, beaming. “it reminds me of our childhood, all the time we’d spend together.”

“yeah, me too.” looking at the painting now, it was obvious that there are things glaringly wrong with it — each peach is a slightly different color of pink, the way the leaves are pointing are unnatural, there’s a slight warp to the sky because the paint hadn’t finished drying when he put it up.

but soonyoung _likes_ it. he remembers when he gave that painting to soonyoung…he gifted it to him when he was about to go away to seoul, to start his life as a trainee. it was a parting gift. soonyoung’s had it all this time.

he can hear his heart beat right in his ears — is it too loud?

“anyway, this is my room.” soonyoung gestures to the room behind him. “for when i come back in times like this. i want to put it up in here.”

jihoon nods. he doesn’t know why, but the fact that soonyoung wants to hold on to it makes him _happy_.

* * *

jihoon likes to take naps as soon as he gets home from work, and that’s exactly what he does. he unapologetically takes a four hour nap, not waking up for even just a second. he’s dead as a log.

when he finally wakes up at 9pm, the first thing he does is roll over to his side and check his phone. he usually opens up to one or two notifications, but tonight, he wakes up to _fifty_.

“what the…” jihoon rubs his eyes, but they don’t go away. some are from mingyu, asking where he is before coming to the self-realization that he’s probably asleep, and it stops there; some are from soonyoung, but he can’t decipher any of it due to it just being plain gibberish; the newest ones are from wonwoo, a bunch of calls before finally leaving him alone with the text ‘call me when you can’.

and so he does. wonwoo’s phone rings two, three times before he picks up.

“jihoon, thank god.” wonwoo sounds…a little sluggish.

“what’s up?”

“you’re not doing anything?”

“…no.”

“okay, well…” wonwoo takes this moment to pause, and jihoon can hear mingyu and soonyoung’s uncontrollable laughter. “listen, can you come to the beach? i can’t really explain it right now.”

“i…okay. okay, i’m on my way.” before he could say anything else, wonwoo ends the call.

jihoon throws on the nearest sweater and sweatpants, grabs his house keys, and walks. he hasn’t learned to drive, nor does he really want to. he prefers to take a taxi or to do what he’s doing now, taking in the details of the streets that, while they’ve been a common sight for him all these years, offer something new each time he goes out. he likes to listen to some music as well, feel like he’s in a video or something.

the beach is a good twenty to thirty minutes away, but he gets there with his brisk pace. jihoon spots wonwoo’s flower truck a bit off to the right, and so he goes to it. when he does, it’s easy to spot three head splayed out on the beach, green bottles of soju strewn about.

…okay, he sees where this is going.

his sandaled feet sink into the sand — god, he hates the texture. but he trudges along, pretending like each step isn’t killing him inside. when he’s finally within range, wonwoo sits up, but not without looking like he’s about to hurl forward and stick his head in the sand.

“you made it!” mingyu says a little too loud. he swings the bottle in his hand at jihoon’s direction. “um, this one’s still kinda got some stuff in it, you want?”

“…no thank you.”

“sorry, but…hey wake up.” wonwoo kicks soonyoung’s leg with his foot. “jihoon’s here.”

“jihoonie…” that’s a childhood name. his head tilts up, and immediately the goofiest smile shows up on his face. his face is so pink that jihoon can make it out with even the minimum amount of light on, glowing like a flashlight. “hey!”

“you know where his house is, right?” wonwoo scratches the back of his head. “we hadn’t gone yet, so we figured you could take him home.”

“we have to clean up soon,” mingyu says with a groan. “i don’t want to get up.”

“yeah, no problem.” jihoon leans down, poking soonyoung on the cheek. “hey. can you stand?”

soonyoung shakes his head. “you have to carry me, jihoonie.”

“okay, don’t…” jihoon can feel his ears burning. he doesn’t want to make a big deal about how that nickname embarrasses him, but having to carry soonyoung on his back is just as humiliating. it’s not like he has a choice, though.

he used to do this when they were kids, too. he was pretty strong.

first he pulls soonyoung up, sitting him upright. his friend slumps, and mingyu laughs. jihoon turns his around, squats down low, and wraps his arms around him. holding onto soonyoung’s arms as tightly as he can — _woah, he has some muscle, wait, shut up_ — he springs back up. he’s carrying most of soonyoung now, but his legs unfortunately dangle and drag on the ground. he kicks them, and in a brief moment of epiphany soonyoung realizes he has to latch himself onto jihoon like a koala, and he does.

soonyoung is warm, _really_ warm, but jihoon doesn’t want to think about it. this is kind of awkward. he wants to get this overwith.

“okay.” jihoon lets out a breath. “okay. are you good, wonwoo? do you need some help?”

“no, i’m good. i’m getting my bearings back.” wonwoo waves him off. “we’ll be okay. go bring him back.”

“good luck,” mingyu adds with a thumbs up.

“okay. then i’ll — we’ll — be going.”

the extra weight on his back makes it feel like he’s walking in quicksand more than anything, but he gets through it with a huff and a puff. from there he heads down the usual street back, since soonyoung’s new house is just a couple of blocks away from his.

he tries not to think about this situation too much. he’s just bringing his drunk friend home. adults do that all the time. soonyoung’s just also a really famous idol and that he draws a lot of attention and really this is already attention-grabbing he has someone his back but it’s _soonyoung_ and —

“they told me you don’t drink,” soonyoung says with a chuckle. “i’m lucky then, because jihoonie gets to take me home…”

“i don’t think that’s how you should be processing things. stop swinging your feet or i’m going to trip and fall.”

“sorry.”

there’s a quiet before soonyoung pipes up again. “so how’s painting been?”

jihoon swerves to the right; they’re almost at soonyoung’s street. he tries to shrug, but he can under soonyoung’s weight. he doesn’t like this question; he doesn’t know how to answer it without seeming like…he doesn’t want to continue that thought. “it’s…going.”

“you had a lot of empty canvases in your room when i went.” jihoon tenses up at those words. ( _shit, i should have cleaned or something…but that’s way more suspicious._ ) “you planning something big? like a series or something?”

“maybe. i’m still working on it.” that’s a half-truth, half-lie. it still feels off.

“i can’t wait! i’m sure it’s going to be _amazing_ , jihoonie! let me know when you showcase them. i want to see them up close no matter what.”

soonyoung’s enthusiasm absolutely devastates him. he’s expecting something, and yet…there’s nothing to show for it. he doesn’t have that many ideas. he hasn’t had many ideas in a while. his brushes are drier than the desert. his palette sits hidden under dried paint splotches. his water cup is empty. there isn’t a drop of color on the tarps he uses to cover the floor.

he doesn’t want to explain that.

thankfully they’ve reached his new house. soonyoung slides off, wobbling a bit before he’s able to somewhat stand. he looks for his keys — “i can do this part myself, jihoonie” — and opens the door, going inside one step at a time.

“okay. get some water and then go to sleep.” he glares at him, but soonyoung just looks back with a lopsided grin. he crosses his arms — it helps him maintain his composure. “i’m serious.”

“yeah, yeah.”

soonyoung stands there at the doorway for a second, eyeing jihoon up and down like a tiger observing its prey. he bites the inside of his cheeks just so that he doesn’t do something weird.

but then his best friend leans in and kisses him on the lips.

“thanks, jihoonie!” soonyoung waves and then shuts the door.

jihoon can barely _breathe_. his ears feel like they can cook an egg sunny side up from all the heat that’s rushed in. his entire body is hot, hot, _hot_. he can’t move, can’t find it in him to turn around and not look like he’s about to try and rob their house. his heart beat is deafening to the point where he can’t hear his own thoughts.

…he doesn’t _hate_ it. it was actually nice. it was short and sweet, but that pressure on his lips lingers. it’s a ghost that haunts him or something cheesy like that. it felt like _right_ for some reason, like he’d been waiting for soonyoung to do that.

why though? why does he have this yearning that feels like it’s spanned for years and years and years? he doesn’t understand why it feels like he’s finally gotten something, that at last, he’s satisfied. he doesn’t get why he’s so fixated by it, captivated by each millisecond of that kiss, repeating each moment frame by frame. it feels like it won’t leave him any time soon — for some reason, he doesn’t _want_ it to.

his lips tasted like peaches.

* * *

someone keeps looking at him.

this girl’s gaze doesn’t leave jihoon the entire time she’s in line. it feels almost menacing the way its pointed at him, but the girl’s a familiar enough of a face that he doesn’t completely feel weird. where’s he seen her before? probably school. that’s the only place he’d have to be surrounded by a bunch of people. was it elementary school? middle school? high school?

she looks away once to order her flowers from mingyu, having to stand on her tiptoes just to make sure she’s in view at the mirror. she sways back and forth as she waits, and she gives a big smile when she finally gets her flowers.

and then she looks at jihoon again, only this time, it’s to pay. she hands him exact change — thank god — and he hopes that this is the end of their interaction.

“you’re lee jihoon, right?”

oh, so she knows his name. “yeah.”

“i’m seulgi…kang seulgi. we went to school together. um.” she looks in the pockets of her pants for a second, a look of dismay on her face when she can’t find what she’s looking for. it’s when she realizes it’s in her hand — her phone, that is. she types something in, waiting for something to load.

thank god mingyu’s taking a while to help the next customer.

“ah.” when she finds what she’s looking for on her phone, she shows jihoon her screen. “i saw this earlier today on the front page. that’s you…right?”

…it is.

it’s a somewhat blurry picture of jihoon from yesterday, dark clothes and all, with soonyoung on his back. the image takes a downward slope; this person’s angle was in a room. it’s a picture of him carrying soonyoung home from the beach, lit by a single street lamp. it’s the street next to soonyoung’s house. it’s scary how easily you can see his and soonyoung’s faces.

the headline is something like this: ‘mysterious person carries solo idol kwon soonyoung in his hometown — friend or foe?’

he wonders if there’s a picture out there of their kiss, or of him standing dumbfounded outside of soonyoung’s house after.

“i thought i should let you know,” seulgi says, and she looks…sad. genuinely apologetic. “stay safe, jihoon.”

“yeah, thanks.”

* * *

soonyoung’s parents are dedicating an entire hallway to soonyoung’s pictures.

jihoon sees the one that he took a picture of in the middle. he still has that picture; he doesn’t have the heart to delete it. is that weird?

soonyoung had asked for him to help unpack stuff in his room, but when he gets there, the door is closed. he knocks. the door creaks open, and —

in a flurry, someone grabs jihoon’s hands and drags him in. the door slams shut. the only light is coming from a lamp on the floor.

“did anyone see you?” thank god it’s soonyoung in the room. jihoon shakes his head, and his friend sighs, sitting down next to the lamp. “good.”

“so i take it you’ve seen…” jihoon looks around, his hands gesturing at nothing. “…you’ve seen the stuff online?”

“yeah.” soonyoung looks tired. he hates seeing him like that. “i didn’t think anyone would really do that out here.”

soonyoung’s eyes look absolutely sincere, worried. jihoon sits down in front of him, criss-cross applesauce, hoping that he can silently tell soonyoung that it’s okay. seeing him down like this makes him sad, too.

one of soonyoung’s nervous habits is tugging on a strand of his hair, something he’s doing right now. “i’m sorry, jihoon. i should’ve been even the slightest bit careful.”

“that person that took the picture is in the wrong, not you.” for some reason, jihoon feels the a little — a lot — _angry_ , annoyed in soonyoung’s defense.

soonyoung shrugs. “but still. you got involved. i should have known better.”

they sit in silence for a bit, but it’s not ignorance on jihoon’s part. it’s an understanding silence, a quiet to gather their thoughts.

“my company’s figuring out what to do about them.” soonyoung shakes his head. “the best i can do is just not think about it right now and just trust them. and if anything happens to you…well, i’ll tell them to help you out as well.” ****

jihoon feels like he should ask this question that’s been sitting in the back of his mind his last night. “soonyoung…do you remember anything from last night?”

“no. why?”

oh.

he can taste peaches again — _no, not the time_. but it’s kind of bittersweet: sweet because he won’t have to explain it, bitter because only jihoon is plagued with that memory.

but what if his someone on the internet told him, shrouding it in rumors? what would that mean for them? 

“anyway.” soonyoung gets up, dragging a box over to where he is. “i called you over here to apologize, but i could also actually really use some help.”

“um…yeah. yeah, i’ll help.”

jihoon gets up, too, opening a box in the opposite corner. soonyoung is using this to distract from his consequences; jihoon is using this to distract him from the truth.

* * *

soonyoung has to go back to seoul early, cutting his stay in half. 

they’re at soonyoung’s old house, getting the last bit of things before officially having moved out. except they got distracted, opting instead to sit under the peach tree. jihoon bites into one — it’s all too familiar of a taste.

“well, at least we finished moving out before i had to go,” soonyoung says, leaning back on the tree’s trunk. “although i wish i could help them finish unpacking.”

“i’ll help them out, don’t worry,” jihoon replies. “wonwoo and mingyu too. i’ll make sure they come by.”

“they’ll laugh at the hallway.” it’s funny how he knows when soonyoung’s talking with a smile. “whatever. they’ll look at my _cool face_ , like you said.”

jihoon actually laughs a little before it fades away.

he was preparing to bid soonyoung farewell until the end of may like he’d said on his first day back, but this is too abrupt. he gets why, but he doesn’t want soonyoung to leave. he wants to tether him here and spend a little more time together. is he going crazy thinking this way? maybe this is too much; he doesn’t even know _why_ he’s thinking this way.

still, he figures he should make amends. “soonyoung…i figured it out.”

soonyoung tilts his head, and jihoon takes a deep breath.

“to be honest, i haven’t painted in two years.” yikes. when he says it out loud, he really doesn’t like it. but soonyoung doesn’t remember what he’d asked him that night — he’ll recap. “there’s a bunch of empty canvases in my room. i haven’t really thought of anything to put _on_ them, though. it’s weird, i know — an artist running out of things to make? it puts everyone that’s ever called me a ‘prodigy’ to shame. i couldn’t figure out a way to paint something that people would like. i thought i had to paint something that appealed to everyone. painting became about others and not me. that type of pressure just…stopped me.”

he appreciates that soonyoung allows him to continue talking, listening to him intently. it’s helping him a lot. “and i think…no, i ignored you because i felt bad that i haven’t _done_ anything, that i’ve wasted your time. i was embarrassed. i should have just explained it instead of staying completely silent. you must have been hurt and i’m sorry for that. that wasn’t fair. you can be mad at me.”

there’s a pause before soonyoung grabs jihoon by the shoulders, squeezing them so tight that it feels like they might snap off. his eyes burn with reassurance, a look so determined that jihoon doesn’t want to look away. “you’ll never waste my time. you’re my best friend.”

and then he hugs him, burying his face in his chest. jihoon doesn’t think; he returns the favor, hands shaking a bit at the fact that he’s _hugging him back_. he hopes his heart isn’t too loud. he wouldn’t know how to answer that question.

“i’m just glad you told me.” soonyoung’s voice is muffled and his face is hidden, but he radiates an endearing aura that puts jihoon at ease.

they stay like that for what seems like forever. jihoon feels absolute relief about _that_ misunderstanding; it’s an absolute bliss that he’s let go of it. those words were the only thing he needed to hear.

…but reality sinks in. jihoon’s arms go limp, and he pushes soonyoung away, scowling. “soonyoung…you might get in trouble again.”

“…right.” he lets go of jihoon, and he misses him already. he hates, hates, _hates_ this feeling. but he promises himself that he won’t mess up again — for soonyoung. because he’s jihoon’s best friend.

* * *

‘your phone storage is almost full.’

“tsk.” jihoon would normally ignore this message, but his phone’s sitting at an alarming 4.9 gigabytes out of 5 used up. he has no choice but to clear out some things. he aims for some apps he never uses anymore, then games he no longer plays, and then to his photos.

he stops to look at soonyoung’s picture.

it’s still pretty, but something’s off. everything that makes soonyoung _soonyoung_ isn’t portrayed correctly. there’s so much to him that’s missing from the picture, from the ethereal glow that surrounds him to his presence that commands all eyes on him. obviously a picture can’t be taken of something like that, but…

he clears some of his clothes off the floor and lays out his tarp. the creak of his easel is a familiar sound that makes him a little giddy. he tears off all the dried paint from his palette, throwing them away when he goes to fill his dirty paint cup with water. he opens a new packet of brushes. he lines every possible paint out near him.

for the first time in years, he paints.

soonyoung always gives off a yellow sort of vibe. he ponders over the different shades that he has before he picks one close to the color of the sun. his hair is red in the picture; he picks a shade close to that of flames. his eyes get a generous amount of gleam, more than the picture entails, because that’s how jihoon remembers him. he labors over the details of his outfit, mixing almost every color together for his twinkling sequins. the shade of pink he goes with for his lips reminds him of peaches.

he loses himself in this painting. he doesn’t mind that he gets paint all over his arms. finding the right hue takes some time, but he figures it out right away. every stroke begins to feel natural again, slowly filling up the canvas and pulling the painting together.

recreating the image of soonyoung in his mind feels…nice. it’s _freeing_. he’s so sure about what he looks like that putting that on canvas isn’t hindering. he feels like he can put whatever he wants; he’s the one that knows him well. it’s a similar rush to that of riding rollercoasters, or hitting a home run. the adrenaline feels endless. it’s _fun_.

maybe people won’t get it, but…he will. that’s good enough for him.

he paints until it’s seven in the morning, the sun peeking through his blinds. and when he realizes what that meant…well, shit. soonyoung’s train leaves…he checks his phone. it leaves at nine. the nearest train station is at a town an hour and thirty minutes away on a good day.

the painting’s done. he’s proud of the finished product. it’s very much soonyoung.

he won’t mess up again.

he quickly dials wonwoo’s number, and he’s thankful he picks up right away.

“wonwoo?”

“what’s up, jihoon?”

“soonyoung train leaves at nine.”

“okay.”

“help me get there.”

“i’m on my way.”

* * *

“okay, we’re taking the truck because…? as far as i know, it’s a sunday.”

“well, mingyu and i were going to work on a few things inside today,” wonwoo says, gesturing to mingyu hanging on for dear life in the back. “we needed to put in some new supplies, just do some routine check-ups on the equipment, that sort of thing. you called when we were about to start.”

“sorry.”

“it’s fine. soonyoung’s going to like that painting.”

“thanks.” and then for some reason, jihoon can’t keep quiet. “he kissed me.”

“ _what_?!”

wonwoo almost slams on the breaks, brain momentarily forgetting how to drive a car and making wonwoo swerve a bit to the left. it’s not a lot, but it was quick enough to throw mingyu off balance, holding onto jihoon’s car seat.

“when i took him home he kind of just stood there for a second and he kissed me and i don’t know i’ve been thinking about it the past couple of days and it’s really confusing like it wasn’t bad or anything he was actually really good but anywayhe did that and he tasted like peaches for some reason.” wow. he didn’t pause once.

mingyu laughs. “hyung, you know, we had flavored soju that day. all he drank were the peach ones.”

“oh…um…”

“okay. hold on.”

mingyu shuffles to the back, and when wonwoo sees what he’s doing in the rearview mirror, he lets out a small smile. but the way the mirror’s angled means jihoon can’t see it.

“what’s he — ?”

“just wait for it.”

* * *

when they get to the train station, it’s eight forty-five. he grabs his things out of wonwoo’s truck — “thank you, seriously!” — and runs to the first platform. he runs like his life depends on him.

“soonyoung!” luckily, the platform is empty. the only one there is soonyoung holding onto all his luggage. even with all the stuff he’s carrying, jihoon manages to get to him quickly, hunching over to to heave a couple of breaths.

“jihoon, what’re you doing here — what’re those?!”

jihoon first holds up the bouquet that mingyu _insisted_ he give to soonyoung. he said to say it’s from him, but to save him any embarrassment, jihoon says, “these are from…wonwoo and mingyu.”

mingyu was laughing to himself when he made it. those flowers probably mean something, but jihoon doesn’t know. he doesn’t care right now. after a couple more seconds, he can finally breath normally again, and he holds up the painting. “this…is from me.”

“jihoon.” soonyoung blinks, surprise turning to pure joy that completely overwhelms jihoon. “oh my _god_! this is so amazing! i know you had it in you! i…i can’t stop looking at it. i want to keep looking at it forever!”

jihoon can’t help but smile. _i’m glad he likes it._ he gestures for soonyoung to take it, and he does. “well, you looked cool.”

he lets soonyoung look at it for a while, picking at the paint dried onto his arm. he’ll crash from that all-nighter soon, but it was worth it to see soonyoung’s beaming face when he showed him. truly, jihoon likes the painting, but it’s even better than soonyoung does.

“also…one more thing.”

soonyoung looks up from the painting. ah, he’s glowing again. it’s a calm before a possible storm. good news before bad news. a high before a low. maybe it should have been the other way around, but he was too eager to give him the painting that he didn’t think about it.

“you know…when i brought you home that one time…i figured you should know that…you kinda…maybe…no, _definitely_ kissed me.”

“huh.”

“i just…i don’t want you to find out from some tabloid or news article.” it’s awkward, but jihoon stands his ground. soonyoung has the right to know. “i wanted that to come from me.”

soonyoung _laughs_. it’s a heart laugh that seems to last for ages. it doesn’t get drowned out when the train pulls up at the station, empty just like the platform. the station’s the first of this route, anyway.

“what’s…what’s funny?”

“i know i did.”

“did what?”

“kiss you, _jihoonie_.”

jihoon’s face heats up so much it’s concerning. “you…”

the train doors slide open, and soonyoung picks up his things, stepping inside. he looks kind of ridiculous, but jihoon can’t focus over the fact that soonyoung knew he kissed him and never addressed him and let jihoon remember it over and over and over again and oh my god —

“talk to you soon!” soonyoung points to his phone with the cheekiest smile, waving as the doors of the train shut.

just like that, soonyoung’s gone, but the revelation of soonyoung _willingly_ giving jihoon that kiss freezes him in that spot. _that shit knew what he was doing!_ it makes his heart explode; it makes him go from annoyed to flustered to…something warm. like a part of him _wanted_ it to be intentional.

he’s surprisingly fine with it.

when he finally musters up the courage to return to wonwoo’s truck, it’s surrounded by a small crowd. it dissipates after a couple of minutes, after which wonwoo begins their trip back to their hometown.

“what was that?” jihoon asks.

“they asked if i could bring the truck out here so they can buy flowers, too.” wonwoo replies.

“so how’d it go with soonyoung?” mingyu asks from the back (again).

“it went…well.” jihoon turns to wonwoo. “wonwoo, after this spring season, i’m quitting my job. this is my more-than-two-weeks notice.”

“fine with me.”

* * *

wonwoo’s floral business is one of their small hometown’s talking points, but the buzz has been spreading. spring is a time for changes, and after the events of last year, wonwoo decided that it was time to expand his horizons. he ventures out into neighboring towns for his random location, and it’s been a success. more people are familiar with his flower truck, and many people outside their hometown go to buy flowers from him.

it doesn’t mean his hometown is missing out, though. for the first time, mingyu drives his own truck, refurbished and with a painted exterior by jihoon as well. that girl from before — right, her name was seulgi — helps mingyu out as he drives it around their hometown. business is booming.

it’s also all thanks to soonyoung. during one of his vlives, he mentions wonwoo’s business — “my friend from my hometown has this really cool truck where he sells flowers! they’re really pretty. he only brings it out during the spring though. everyone, go check it out if you can!”

the spring air is familiar to jihoon. it’s a nice change of pace compared to everything else. it’s a reminder to appreciate things around him, a reminder of good times and unforgettable memories. cheesy, but it’s true. he finds it comforting.

“jihoonie!”

jihoon clings onto his windowsill, nearly scared off his roof by _that_ voice. soonyoung sticks his head out the window, and jihoon pouts. “fuck, soonyoung, can you _warn_ me or something?”

“ _you’re_ the one choosing _the roof_ over safety.” soonyoung crawls onto the roof, sitting right next to jihoon as always. “so?”

“so?”

“the painting you’re working on.”

right. that. it’s a painting of the train station, specifically the first platform where they’d left off a year prior. but instead of the both of them standing there, it’s the sunflowers that mingyu had so prominently showcased in the bouquet he gave soonyoung.

they’ve been talking non-stop. jihoon looks forward to every message soonyoung leaves him. even when they aren’t face to face, it feels like soonyoung’s with it. it’s a really nice feeling.

of course, soonyoung’s here right now, on another break. he _promised_ his company he wouldn’t do anything radical, and since then, soonyoung’s parents’ house is finished. he wanted to give a house tour.

but back to the conversation. “oh, you know…i just thought i would paint some places.”

“mhm.”

“some _special_ places.”

“ _mhm_.”

“that remind me of _you_.” jihoon’s face turns pink. “there, happy?”

“yep!” soonyoung grins; he can’t get tired of looking at it. “and i heard that you’re going to showcase it? in an exhibit in seoul?”

“yeah, i’m going there next month to help set it up and everything.” he’s a bit shy saying the next part. “we could maybe…hang out there. if you can.”

“i’ll make _sure_ of it. i’ll be there the _first day_ that exhibit opens with your work in it, and then i can take you to my favorite cafe, my favorite restaurant, my favorite mall…how long are you going to stay there?”

“a week, probably.”

“hm…we can make it work.”

does he say it? does he say the words that have been repeating over and over in his head ever since the last time he saw soonyoung? jihoon looks out at the blue spring sky, the clouds that drift by, the birds that chirp and the jet stream from a plane close by.

his paintings probably say it, but he doesn’t want soonyoung to hear it from there, if he can hear something at all. he wants soonyoung to hear it from _him_. and he’s confident that soonyoung feels the same way.

“soonyoung.”

“yeah?”

“i like you.”

**Author's Note:**

> after i saw the fallin flower mv, i had to write something with flowers in it. the result? this.  
> if you've made it this far, thank you, really. i'm not sure when i'll post something again, but hopefully this was worth a wait.  
> stay safe out there and take care of yourselves. :)  
> (this is more or less a first-draft and unedited; i'll come back to look over it later. eventually. i promise!)


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